He's in!

It's official.  Our stuff is under one roof, co-mingling all together. It feels both strange and completely normal, all at one time. I will miss having a place to go where we could be completely out about our kink.  At his apartment, we could scream as loud as we wanted, leave the mess of toys and rope and lube scattered everywhere, and be completely transparent about the kinky part of our lives.  That's NOT the case at our current place.  However, the good parts seem to out weigh the not-so-good parts, so we're content with the decision. In the end, the hard parts were mostly about what to do with our stuff, and how to make sure we could still get in enough kinky playing, not anything about the relationship.  If the rest of my life were as easy as being with the Locked One, it'd be one big cake walk for me.

This whole mess of mixing kinky and vanilla parts of life is sticky. Discovering kink has pushed me to question how I want to spend my free time, and what holds the most meaning to me, and what relationships are most meaningful.  It's not an easy process. I don't like the separate lives that I lead, and wish I could figure out a way to integrate them more. Sometimes figuring this stuff out is frustrating and stressful, but more often clarifying and energizing. At the end of the day, the internal conflict is worth it, because I'd rather have the experience than not.

A fun thing about chastity play is that it can be done in both kinky and vanilla worlds, which can't be said about a lot of types of play. Of course there's the whole appeal of doing something naughty while in public, and the anxiety of possibly getting caught, etc.  But it also wraps up all the power exchange, intimacy, and arousal stuff that happens during play, and drags it out all day (week? month?) long. The complexity of chastity play keeps me thinking and plotting between lock-ups, and makes me really horny during.  It's been way too long since I've held the key. I may need to do something about that tonight.
-Keyholder

move under way

I am moving in with Keyholder this weekend. I have lived alone for about 9 years now. There is some sadness about moving out of the building I have been living in past 5 years. Many around here call the place Kink Central only people in the local bdsm community live here in the building it is lots of fun here, but is time to move on to something new. Parts of the move there will be big changes others not so much. I am looking forward to not having to look around in the morning to see what bed we are in. After we get unpacked I am sure we will be back to some cock locking soon.
In March i will be doing a workshop on Chasity at SINSations In Leather in Chicago.
not locked and loading at the moment

Not-as-fun Fun

I figured out something about chastity play. Locking up a cock and fogetting about it does nothing for me.  In fact, I think it makes me a little sad and uncomfortable. 

I locked him up last week right after a really hot fuck, right before I got my period.  I planned it that way, thinking that I would be better able to keep him locked up. Turns out, that works.  But I also didn't touch, tease, or torture him in any way while being locked up.  I literally forgot about it for a few days--partly because of the typical tired/cranky stuff that goes along with having a period, but also just busy with stuff going on after work for both of us.  I felt like shit about it.  I felt like I wasn't doing my part in our chastity play, like I was taking advantage of the power that was handed over to me. Also, locking him up is not about keeping him from fucking around or controlling how much sex we have. We have pretty equal sex drives.  It really is about the tease and denial for us. 

So locked up and ignored did not sit right with me.  It didn't do anything for the Locked One, either.  So, the lesson learned is that ignoring the locked cock is not fun for us, and if I'm going to lock him up, I need to plan some torment and give some attention to the fact that I get to have the key.  Sounds a little backwards, but that's what works for us.

Locked

What more is there to say? All is right with the universe again.

-Keyholder

not locked and loading

We haven't had much opportunity to play lately. The Locked one was sick and after that was over we spent some of our free time packing up stuff. We're moving in together, in the next few weeks, so trying to clear out all the crap at both of our places.  We found some really hilarious old kinky shit in a box at his place. Most of it went in the trash, but I found it interesting that even way back then he had a strapon dildo and harnass.  There were old magazines called Variations from the 80s and 90s that had all didfferent kinds of bound pretty ladies and sex scenes, and a bunch of stuff to make a mold of his dick, which could be used to make candles.  Very fun.  The crap I'm cleaning out of my closets is WAY boring compared to his closets.  I get bored just thinking about all of the crap I need to get rid of.  So I will need to figure out when I will lock him up again, just hasn't seemed like there's a good time. And i'm always taking it off anyway...so will need to do some planning.  I was tempted to lock him up last Friday as I was fucking him from behind while he was chained to the bed.  But was having too much fun pounding away, and then, of course, he came a bit fast. surprise!

-Keyholder